Choices
by Lady Arreya
Summary: Sometimes you have to make the wrong choice before you can make the right one. AU, BxG and some KxG. Takes place a few years after Alien Force.


Title: Choices  
Rating: T  
Summary: Sometimes you have to make the wrong choice before you can make the right one. AU, BxG and some KxG. Takes place a few years after Alien Force.

A/N: This story was partly inspired by "The Self-Restraint of Kevin Levin" by Karkadinn. That story helped me understand Kevin better. As long as it's convenient for him to be a "good guy," he'll continue to act that way. But once it's not in his best interests anymore, he'll revert to his old ways… and become Kevin 11,000 in the future.

I have also made a companion video for this story (which I can e-mail you if you like; I haven't been able to upload it successfully to Youtube, Dailymotion, etc. due to copyright issues. If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know).

This story is also a prequel to my story, "Second Chances," which I will be posting in the near future.

Note: The story and the video are both KxG and BxG, but in the end Gwen chooses Ben. Please don't read the story or watch the video if you can't handle that. Thanks.

* * *

She was tired of having the same argument over and over again.

Kevin was always jealous of how close she and Ben were. He had accused her of not loving him enough, and of loving Ben too much.

His words echoed in her ears.

"The two of you are so close there's no room left for me."

He'd been pressuring her for weeks now to leave with him. He was tired of the whole superhero thing, he'd said.

He wanted her to leave Ben.

It was the most difficult decision she'd ever had to make. She loved Kevin, but to give up Ben…

She wasn't sure if she could. He was her best friend, and she was so attached to him. She couldn't imagine what her life would be like without him.

But she had to give him up if she wanted to be with Kevin. He'd issued her an ultimatum.

"If you really loved me, you'd go with me," Kevin shouted.

"If you really loved _me_, you wouldn't make me choose," she shouted back. She stared morosely out the window. "Ben would never make me choose."

He exploded.

"I'm so f—ing tired of being compared to Ben!"

He could never compete with Ben. He would always be found lacking by comparison, he feared.

"It's him or me. You choose." With that, he stalked off without sparing a backward glance.

* * *

He stared up at the ceiling. It was after 3 a.m. and he felt drained, but he still couldn't sleep.

He kept her picture next to his bed and had hung up all the pictures that he had of them together.

He could hear her sweet voice, her joyful laughter, echoing in his mind.

That was all he had left of her.

Gwen had left him, and she wasn't coming back. Kevin had forced her to choose between them, and she had chosen Kevin.

He couldn't ask her not to. That would be selfish and unfair. She had to live her own life and make her own choices.

She had no idea how much he loved her. He had been trying all this time to show her how much he loved her, but he had never told her. He'd been too subtle, it seemed.

Now she would never know.

He missed her so much. He wanted to cry but couldn't. He'd cried so much that it felt like he was out of tears.

He wondered if she ever thought about him. If she missed him at all. If he haunted her dreams the way she haunted his.

Ben tossed and turned, finally falling into a fitful sleep.

He saw her in his dreams almost every night - the way it should have been, the two of them together.

If only he'd had the courage to tell her.

"_Gwen… Please don't leave me… I love you…"_

* * *

She missed Ben. She couldn't see him or talk to him, and it was killing her.

It was ironic. Only after being apart from him did she realize just how accustomed she was to having him around.

She had hoped that Kevin would be more reasonable now that she had chosen him over Ben, but nothing ever seemed to be enough for him.

Now he was dissatisfied that she seemed so unhappy about her decision. He didn't want her to miss Ben.

Kevin was becoming more and more demanding. He'd always been restrictive, but now he was completely unreasonable. He was starting to monitor her every move. He constantly insisted on knowing where she was going, who was with, what she was doing…

It was clear that he didn't trust her at all, and she resented it. She had given up so much to be with him, and it still wasn't enough.

She couldn't understand why he was so suspicious. She had honored his wishes. She hadn't done anything that would make him think otherwise.

Sometimes she wondered if he was so suspicious because he had a guilty conscience. Maybe he was the one sneaking around and cheating on _her_.

Or maybe not. It seemed more like he was just jealous of everyone she cared about. Ben, Grandpa Max, her brother Ken, even her parents.

Having never had that kind of relationship with anyone, he didn't know what it was like.

He wanted to be the only one she turned to. He couldn't accept that she needed other people.

She was feeling more and more isolated.

She had a feeling it was only a matter of time that he demanded that she give up everyone that she loved because he didn't want anyone competing for her affections. He couldn't understand that she was used to having her family there for her. She was very close to them and didn't like being cut off from them.

He seemed intent upon taking away all of her choices from her.

She was afraid she would have to take them back.

* * *

The rain pelted the roof relentlessly. He stared blankly out the window, not really seeing anything.

How many days had passed since she had left with Kevin? He'd lost count.

It had hurt so much at first, but now he was getting used to it. He'd grown numb.

He went through the motions, plodding through his everyday tasks, but they'd lost meaning.

He felt lost without her. She'd been at his side for so many years, and he'd forgotten what it was like to be without her.

And now that he was…

Some days the pain was nearly unbearable. He thought about her constantly. It felt like his heart had shattered into a million pieces and would never be whole again.

There were so many things left unspoken between them, and now he would never have the chance to tell her.

He felt hollow and empty, merely a shell of his former self.

He would never forget the sight of her walking away, never to return.

But he was still Ben 10, hero of heroes, and the world needed him.

He took it day by day. One step at a time. That was all he could do.

There was nothing else to do.

It was lonely at headquarters without her. Grandpa Max stopped by from time to time to check on him, but he didn't want to talk about it.

He couldn't.

All he could do was resign himself to the truth.

He had lost her for good, but he would never stop loving her.

* * *

She was so tired of it. It took so much of her energy to help him.

Besides, it often felt like nothing she did even mattered. She didn't really think she was helping him at all.

Kevin was sullen and moody all the time, and she was realizing that maybe he was too damaged from his traumatic childhood to ever fully recover from it. No matter how hard she tried.

There was no way she could heal him. It was an impossible task.

She despaired of ever getting through to him.

Their last argument came back to her, vividly.

He'd lost control, and his violent temper had scared her. He had become even more threatening and sinister lately.

This was not how she wanted to live, in fear and pain. She wanted to live her life unconstrained.

She wanted to be herself again. Before she had been become involved with Kevin, she had always been optimistic, compassionate and concerned about the fate of the world.

Kevin seemed mostly concerned with the fate of… himself. He was constantly stuck in a funk, and his interests were so limited and narrow compared to hers.

Sometimes she even felt like he was punishing her for being happier than him. That he wanted her to be just as miserable as he was.

She knew it really wasn't like that – that he was just taking his unhappiness out on her, but it was too much to bear.

She had given up too much to be with him, and it was destroying her. She saw that now.

She wanted to be free.

For years she had made excuses for his bad behavior. She had justified it to herself and everyone else any way she could. Even when it was ridiculous, or outrageous. Even when she knew in her heart that there really was no justification, that what he was doing was wrong. That there was something really wrong with him, and that she was not going to be able to fix it, no matter how hard she wanted to or tried to.

But no longer.

It was time to admit defeat. Kevin would never really change.

She could feel herself gradually pulling away from him. Every day she distanced herself a little more. The more she withdrew, the more he tried to hold on to her.

But having made the choice, she was resolved to stick with it.

She felt lighter, unburdened. She hadn't even realized how hard it had been on her until she had decided to give it all up.

To give him up.

It was time to make the right choice.

It was time to go home.

* * *

He had given up hope of ever hearing from her again.

Until one day…

Ben blinked, unable to believe his eyes.

At first he thought he was dreaming, but as she threw her arms around him, hugging him so tightly it knocked the wind out of him, he knew it was real.

She was real. She was really there.

He held on to her, never wanting to let go.

And the words that had been left unspoken between them finally came pouring out.

The End


End file.
